Kenpachi Saves Christmas
by Androfirestrike
Summary: Aizen is out to steal Christmas and only one man can save the day.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters as they belong to Tite Kubo and I wish I owned Christmas, but sadly I don't.

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_Dashing through the snow  
In a one horse open sleigh  
O'er the fields we go  
Laughing all the way  
Bells on bob tails ring  
Making spirits bright  
What fun it is to laugh and sing  
A sleighing song tonight _

_-"Jingle Bells" _

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**Kenpachi Saves Christmas: Part 1**

**_December 23_**_**rd****, 9pm; North Karakura Town...**_

Zaraki Kenpachi drew out his Zanpaktou. Grinning, he stared the humongous hollow that towered over him straight in the eye. He laughed. Oh, had it been a_ long_ night.

"Che. Fuckin' bastard."

He spat out. Division eleven's Taichou ran straight through the hollow, instantly cutting the monster to pieces. It wasn't the power of the hollow that made shinigami fear it. It was the size of the thing. That was why he had been _specially_ called out.

"Pathetic. You ain't even worth my time."

The large shinigami turned around, walking forward into the cool breeze. He almost forgot it was snowing. He hated snow. It was always a hindrance in battle.

"Oh, you there!"

A voice called out to him. Kenpachi paused and looked around. It was an oddly familiar voice. He wondered who exactly it could belong to.

"Yes, you! That is you, Zaraki Kenpachi Taichou of Division eleven of the Gotei thirteen?"

It was an old man's voice (A strange old man's voice to be exact). Kenpachi looked over to see an old man lying on the sidewalk near by. He didn't look dead and he sure as hell wasn't a shinigami. He wore all red, coal black boots, a red cap, and had white fur placed all over his outfit. His beard and hair were a bright white. He was obviously ancient.

"I need your help over here, sonny!"

The man got up and walked over to the large shinigami. The old man's rosy cheeks lit up as he smiled immensely.

"Who the hell are you, old man?"

"Me? Well, I'm Santa Claus!"

Kenpachi laughed at the absurd statement.

"Ya mean that guy who gives Yachiru presents every year? He ain't real! Every Taichou knows that Yamamoto goes around in a red suit every year deliverin' presents and pretending he's Santa! You can't actually exist!"

Then again, Kenpachi could definitely see the old man and the old man could definitely see Kenpachi. They weren't in Soul Society either. This old geezer actually could be magical.

"Listen, Zaraki, I need your help. You see, a man came to the north pole yesterday and stole my sleigh. I was able to follow him to here, but then he...got away..."

Santa paused. He looked over at his small bag of toys and sighed.

"It wouldn't be so much of a problem if this man, Aizen Sosuke, hadn't stolen my Reindeer as well."

Division eleven's Taichou was almost ready to ditch the old bag and sail on out of there, but the name "Aizen Sosuke" caught his attention. He immediately grabbed the old geezer by the coat. He needed some details. After all, why would Aizen need to steal Santa's sleigh?

"Aizen! He stole your sleigh?! Why the hell would he do that?!"

Kenpachi yelled. Santa looked like he was about to have a heart-attack.

"Woah now! Calm down!"

The shinigami dropped Santa in a matter of seconds. The old man looked to be relieved.

"Now, Aizen came to my workshop two days ago claiming _"Only one can be Santa Claus and I will be he." _He brought a good amount of hollows with him and he managed to steal my sleigh and my reindeer. Fortunately, I was able to keep my bag of toys. He did, however wound a great deal of my elves."

Santa was going on and on. Kenpachi felt like he shouldn't actually believe the man, but he figured anything is believable in the world he lived in. There would probably also be hell to pay if Yachiru ever found out Kenpachi didn't listen to "Mr. Santa Claus".

"Now, usually I let Yamamoto take care of business up there in that Soul Society, but since this matter deals with Aizen and the hollows I feel as though I need shinigami help."

The old man paused and looked at Kenpachi. The large Captain grinned and stared back in response.

"So, if no one helps you, the humans don't get their presents?"

"Not just humans, Zaraki. If I don't have my sleigh I can't get Yamamoto the presents he delivers either!"

Kenpachi's face quickly grew into a look of shock, anger, sadness and disbelief. He didn't like the sound of this.

"So, you're sayin' if I don't help you right now, I'd actually have to go out and _buy_ Yachiru presents?"

"Yes. I guess so."

"Then we have a deal! I'll help you get your sleigh or whatever back!"

Buying Yachiru presents was one thing, saving Christmas was another.

"All right! I believe Aizen is moving south! If we move fast we still may be able to catch him!"

There was surely going to be hell to pay.

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**_December 23rd, 11pm; South Karakura Town..._**

Zaraki Kenpachi ran all over Karakura town, Santa riding on his back. Damn, that man was _much_ heavier than Yachiru or any of the other women he carried on his back. Kenpachi didn't like carrying men on his back and this old geezer definitely needed to lose some pounds.

"Ugh. Where the hell is that goddamn bastard Aizen?"

He said out of sheer annoyance. It didn't matter that the man on his back was Santa Claus. He was annoyed and that was that.

"I believe he is right there! You can almost get to him! See the red of Rudolph's nose?"

Santa pointed out a small glimmer of flashing red. Kenpachi had thought it was one of those airplane signal things, but apparently it was Rudolph's nose. The large man grunted. His bells almost ringed in a song when this guy was on him, but he needed to throw him off.

"If it's OK with you, old man, I need to throw you off so I can catch that sleigh!"

The shinigami yelled, still following the aforementioned. Santa nodded, still smiling.

"Oh, that's fine. Do what you must for the spirit of Christmas!"

Kenpachi paused. Santa gladly got off. As soon a the old man took two steps off of his back, Kenpachi was gone and back to trailing the sleigh. He gained speed and momentum faster than any other being around. He jumped, so close to the sleigh. He was able to hang on by a hand.

"Oh my, if it isn't Zaraki Kenpachi?"

He heard the all familiar voice of Ichimaru Gin. That alone gave Kenpachi enough strength to pull himself up.

"Listen you..."

The shinigami paused and noticed who exactly was in the sleigh. It was none other than Gin, Tosen and Aizen. Thankfully Aizen had not bothered putting any other people in the sleigh.

"Why the hell did you bastards steal Santa's sleigh?"

Kenpachi asked. Oh, how he hoped he would end up fighting all three of those scum. That would be a thrilling battle.

"Why? Well, Only one can be Santa Claus. When you have the power of Santa, you hold power over all the world's children. You hold power beyond your wildest imagination! I will be Santa Claus and the entire human world and Soul Society will be begging me to deliver them presents!"

Aizen sadistically grinned. Kenpachi couldn't help, but burst out laughing. Was he actually serious?

"What kind of fuckin' plan is that?"

He almost choked. The shinigami couldn't resist himself. He wondered if Tosen and Ichimaru had to resist themselves from laughing when they also heard Aizen's strangely idiotic plan.

"Now, Kenpachi, that's not a nice thing to do. Laughing like that? You could at least have some manners..."

Kenpachi halted in his laughter. Gin's voice had a way to do that. He just killed the fun wherever he went.

"It might not be, but what's even less nice is takin' Christmas away from everyone!"

This was it. Division eleven's Taichou drew his sword. Tosen shook his head. Well, he was already shaking his head, but he shook it even more.

"I never would have thought you, Zaraki, would be such an avid believer in Christmas."

Tosen mumbled. Gin sighed and looked over at him.

"Now, Now, Kaname. Don't be mad just because you celebrate Kwanzaa and we celebrate Christmas."

Gin's smile was in full effect. Tosen looked as though he was seriously pissed off.

"I still don't get why you had to suggest such an idiotic plan to Aizen-sama."

Gin's face almost turned sour for a moment. Aizen looked to be enjoying this. Kenpachi had to admit he was enjoying it as well.

"Because the power of Christmas is truly an unbelievable thing. After all,_ every one_ knows Santa Claus!"

Kenpachi sighed. Who knew Ichimaru was so in to Christmas that he would want to steal it for himself? This wasn't Aizen's plan. It was Ichimaru's plan that Aizen was acting upon.

"I ain't in to Christmas or anything like that, but I sure as hell don't want to go out and buy Yachiru presents! Now hurry up and land this sleigh or our battle will be up here!"

The small sleigh was nothing anybody could move on, let alone fight on. Aizen didn't have to even give a command; the reindeer landed the sleigh themselves.

"Hmph. If that's how you want to be, Zaraki, we'll give you a good fight."

Aizen smirked. All four men got out of the sleigh. Kenpachi looked over his shoulder to see Santa running down the street, yelling something to the effect of: "Give me back my sleigh, you son-of-a!"

"We'll give you the best fight you've ever had."

**-end part 1- **

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**A/N:** Fear not! I am still working on _Flowers._ I will soon be updating with all your Kenpachi x OC goodness!This idea has just been bugging me. I LOVE CHRISTMAS, OK? OK. EXACTLY ONE MORE MONTH UNTIL CHRISTMAS! It's one of my favorite holidays. Now, I hoped you enjoyed _Kenpachi Saves Christmas_. This story will be in two parts. Look out for part two coming very very very soon. What's more evil than stealing Christmas? Nothing, that's what. Kenpachi and Santa Claus are gonna throw down with Aizen and his posse in the next part. Review and you'll make me a happy little girl. Oh, and Santa will love you too. You'll get a good present from him. 


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